Say what you mean; mean what you say.

28 November, 2006 Alright -- i'm guilty. i beat around more bushes than anyone on the planet -- so, okay, lash my bush for beating around the bush -- preferably HARD with a single tail ~wink~ (and well, so much for that as i don't have a bush! -- so there!). Point is, i should get to the point more readily. But i'm learning. i'm learning. i'm getting better. MEANWHILE ... The other day i endured one of those disapprovals from a relative (whom i do love dearly, yes, yes, we know, now go ahead and tell us how much you CAN'T STAND when she does that passive-aggressive thing of couching what she really means to sling). She offered me that kind of direction that makes me want to stop her in her tracks and make her ADMIT to what she's REALLY saying. my mind silently screams, "Don't play games with me! i'm too smart!". i was advised that the country i'll be visiting next year is a country where the women really do not wear "heavy eye make-up". She wanted to make sure i knew to tone down the make-up because, you know, women don't wear much make-up over there at all. And when i dress, i best be sure to not wear any of "those" short skirts. You know, they don't like that sort of thing over there. i'll want to be sure to present myself as a "nice" person. "Over there", which really means, 'God i WISH you'd STOP wearing that heavy dark eye make-up ALTOGETHER!'. Is she suggesting that my smokey eye look makes me look "not nice"? If she says that not wearing it makes me look "nice", well, then, doesn't it stand to reason that, hey, if you've got that look and you're wearing those skirts, you sure ain't depicting "nice"? Other unsolicited advice included the instruction to make sure i don't look like some American flashy movie-star, about eighteen additional mentions of the heavy eye make-up issue, and some vague inference that i might change my style to look more "respectable". Note that i said INFERENCE. Sure, she didn't say i don't look respectable, but she implied it. In my opinion, she just shot me down royally! Now, now, little girl -- you're over-reacting. you're just too sensitive and you are reading into things. Well, FINALLY, i am happy to report that my sensitivity has too often allowed me to think (but not say) "i told you so". This has nothing to do with visiting a third world country. i'll be visiting a metropolitan city within a third world country and besides, i MIGHT mingle with a movie-star, i MIGHT want to be seen as a movie-star ... and doesn't she think i'm smart enough to NOT wear stilettos while trekking in the desert? i don't take well to such round-about innuendo! i want to call her out! Make her confess! i'm too bothered by approval. i don't like disapproval. i love approval. i've sought it forever! Disapproval reminds me of criticism and criticism is rarely constructive UNLESS its sought out. Unsolicited is almost always meddlesome and meddlesome is almost always unwelcome. If you can't approve, if you can't cheer me on, if i didn't ask for input, PLEASE don't crush me with specifications that don't fit my chassis! Master is my driver, Master is my guide. If i'm happy having found my place and if i feel more sexy and more alive than ever before, why do you want to kill something that is finally living? Wow! i just thought of something! What will i do with these new big tits? Leave them at home with the caviar eyeliner and micro-short skirts? Never! A smart girl is always prepared. Never leave home without essentials and contingencies. Whether i'm under the sun, beneath the stars, or at my Master's mercy, (OR under some other person's SCRUTINY !! ), i'm ready, willing and able. And i'll say what i mean and mean what i say ... even if it takes me a long time to do so. And you can be sure that i'll remain under the thumb and on top of the world ... sex appeal and all ... impoverished or old. It won't matter. Your style will define you, your soul will carry you ... as too will Master.