NEW IMPROVED sLAVE

5 December, 2006

Coming Soon ...

Soon, baby girl. Soon.

Learn patience! Be practical!

i'm getting there ... one day betters the previous one. i'm now able to sleep on my side and soon, hopefully soon, W/we'll be able to squeeze my new big tits. But i can't wait! i can't wait to be completely healed so that Master can throw me around with no mercy again. It would be nice to slap these tits at some point -- gosh i sure hope they are REALLY durable because part of the fun will be watching them jiggle and sway and well, just imagine when they're hanging there in your face -- how could you NOT want to slap them and get sinister (as in a real MEAN SICK sinister)?

i'm anxious to get there already. i'm not myself. i feel like a 600lb sloth. Everything is labored! my thighs are actually touching together and i could swear i have a double chin. i remember an old aunt of mine. she was short and fat. she had fat on her back! she huffed and puffed just to go up and down the stairs or to bend over and get the pastries out of the oven. i hear myself with no stamina at the moment -- the loud breathing if i exert myself -- i can't stand it! i need the gym!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!

Over the weekend, at the middle school basketball game, i counted the spectators sitting on the sidelines. 21 adults. 19 of them were out of shape. 19 of them were out of shape AND overweight. 17 of them were outright FAT. 17 of them had no shame and no cares that their blubber was hanging out over the top of their pants or making rolls that looked like an extreme ski mogul track. All i could think was, GOD, i would be so uncomfortable. There is nothing like feeling the stealth and prowess of a lean wildcat! It changes your life and your energy and your head. i'm not a fitness fanatic -- i'm just a sick glutton for feeling good. And okay, looking good. Look good and you feel good -- its that simple -- its not the cliched joke but REALITY.

i look around and say, wow, more than EVER, i want to be in phenomenal shape. i'll swim with the fish and climb with the billygoats ... and run circles around the other ponies in the stable. i'll be exhilarated to the point of sleep being the grandest luxury in the world. i'll get to feel every single aching muscle as my very own personal Divinity. Yes -- Divinity! i go way up high when i push further at the gym, when i go beyond limits in the dungeon ... when i go way far down in order to belly crawl in the stench of the gutter. Ahh, life is beautiful when you exert yourself!

I need to know that i can RUN fast and never look back. i need to think i can obtain Jackie Chan status when flying through the air. i need to climb mountains and NEVER look down (wise idea).

i like the idea that if i FEEL in tip-top condition, i can weather all storms, no umbrellas, no slickers, no cute little red shiny galoshas. i LOVE being naked! So i HAVE to be fit in all realms. If i'm going to display my insides, i'd like the packaging to cause me no inhibition at all.

So here i am, a little frustrated that i can't work out yet. Here i am still being gingerly about my new boobs. Please, SOON, SOON-God-SOON, may i get back to things because otherwise, all that kickboxing is going to go to pot. i already feel that my bottom isn't quite as tight and round. The heart-shape is in place but i can tell you honestly that a conditioned bottom is a whole lot more luscious than just a naturally nice one. In my 20s, my bottom was cute. In my 40s, its now something to REALLY grab. Its like the difference between tasty and something to devour with INSANE GUSTO.

i'm not really THAT much of an A-type. i mean, you CAN keep me down. i CAN enjoy the rest. i'm all for relaxation just as much as for accomplishment. i can swallow leisure like the best of the primadonnas. But i really like to know i did something first to receive the reward. Right now, i'm soaking up lethargy, not relaxation. Its making me sick!

i NEED to get back to my slave self entirely. i've been given too many little indulgences that verge on suburban female independence. i've been lax -- complacent in my motivation. i'm not working hard! i'm not playing hard! i'm not challenging my mind or doing my cranium stretches. Its making my heart slouch! i'm not expanding myself other than in ways i don't like -- namely eating without exercise.

i want my life back soon!
The dungeon!
The torture!
The beatings!
The gym!
The kickboxing!
The endorphins!
The squirting buckets all over Master's living room!

A romantic night at home in my doggy bed at Master's feet.
The routine and the structure -- Master's discipline and my being more diligent.

i have to be BETTER!
i've been getting WAY off track!

Start today, baby girl, TODAY ... i promise to correct myself with my own self-imposed will ...

i will not be negligent about my slave journal entries.
i will get back to my filthy mind and dripping wet pussy.
i will get back to my dreaminess.
i will get back to my purpose and my reason.

Maybe when Master takes me out on the town again next week (for the first time since the acquiring of my new big boobs), that will give me a good jump start. Maybe once i squeeze into one of those dresses He gets me, i'll be that much closer to the person i love to be. Once i have that privilege again and once i then get to be everything Master needs me to be, i will be back on track and i won't feel so far away from myself.

If outwardly i get to project what i know inside my cage, THEN i am true and whole. This compartmentalizing is stifling! Its maddening! Its like i have abandoned the wanton slut in exchange for the 'get-whatever-she-wants' woman and i want no part of it! (Okay -- a semi-part in it will do. i do like to receive.) i'm a creature of SEX and i want my genes on display again -- i want the world to see me as Master's pet and then when they do, i can answer all their questions if they're ready to convert. i'll hand out literature and promotions and i'll be the model and spokesperson for slaves all around the world!

THESE things will get me back closer to where i need to be. my heady state of mind will be reawakened and i'll then BOUNCE through life as i do. Then i'll inherit the earth again! Being away from it, being relegated to singular use as opposed to multi-use, well, i'm determined to come back with a vengeance. Watch out, Master, here she comes! ~sexy wink to Master~