bubbly effervescence ... & JEOPARDY !!

1 January, 2007

~~ a NEW Lesson for the NEW Year ~~

Hey -- WOW -- could it have come upon me any quicker?

GOD, WHY would anyone want to jeopardize someone's developmental PROGRESS? Why would you want to pummel the emergence of confidence in favor of the exponential growth of insecurity?

Yesterday W/we played Jeopardy. i was royally intimidated -- i was about to play the game with a family of supreme intellects and quick wits. (Master's family, who else?!) my tummy was in knots. Surely i could tell them that one of my best-friends was a contestant on Jeopardy? That's impressive, right?

Well, never got to that. Just went for it -- FULL FORCE NO HOLDS BAR immersion. Don't think; just do. DIVE IN. Go for broke. i now know that Veuve Clicot should be the new Pepto Bismal. THANKFULLY, those good luck fairies were with me once again. God i love these little cherubs! Family! They're my family! It always happens this way. i need the boost and the jolt to give me the confidence and the head start -- then i can sail through defeat if i must. my little good luck fairies are forever hovering about, even when i don't see them. They were bestowed upon me because some God somewhere said, hey -- take pity on this thing! Let the little fairies bring her luck in whatever she does -- it will counter the blows.

i think i like life's blows -- i wouldn't know the good luck fairies if not for their brilliant rescue missions.

With each question, i hit the table first and stated the answer but HERE is the GREAT LESSON i learned -- all in a game of Jeopardy.

i prefaced several of my answers with a quick disclaimer. i'd start by saying, "um, well, okay, i'm just going to take a guess ... drachma?" CORRECT! my usual quirky idiosyncratic kind of knowledge -- the things that stump everyone else, is my forte. Ask me for history dates or mathematical equations or 20th Century literature ... well, just be sure it includes answers like "the special bra was designed for Jane Russell by Howard Hughes" and "two really equals one" and "Henry Miller's ultimate passionate romance was with His lover, Anais Nin". There ya have history, math, and literature, respectively.

Do i get extra points for being obscure or ecclectic?!!

Ask me the name of the independent nation off the Southern coast of India. Sri Lanka. Shekels are from Israel and effervescent is the word that won me the wager of 1999 points (its root is ferv -- woo-hoo! just like that Veuve Clicot!). And oh ... mildew is the scientific descriptive for what grows on the underside of garden plant leaves.

The lesson i learned was SO GREAT! God, i just LOVE that i finally see this now!

Master would answer. He answered. Period.

me? The disclaimer first. Its a guess -- just a guess everyone -- don't hold me to it if i'm wrong.

i cannot bear EVER AGAIN IN mY LIFE the receipt of certain titles or judgments like "stupid". In order to prepare for it, i've conditioned myself through an entire upbringing of ridicule and belittlement. There was never such a thing as an intelligent guess because even a right answer or a smart answer was an outdoing of the ones who needed to crush me in order to feel -- FEEL -- powerful. Do not DARE to answer in anything other than THEIR words -- but wait! Don't do that either!! Its ALL ABOUT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no place for you, dear.

Psychology for 500 AND WHOA -- THE DAILY DOUBLE!! Here we go! Why would i be so afraid or anxious about playing a game? Because i didn't want to chance being perceived as dumb. i'd need to prepare first -- rehearse -- study -- memorize -- know that i AM indeed up to muster. i have to win respect. Win approval.

Let them think i'm just GUESSING because, that way, if i'm wrong, i did say it was just a RANDOM WILD guess. i didn't access my real knowledge, right? i took no ownership of it -- claimed no thought or real consideration to my answer, hence, they couldn't blame me or accuse me or judge me ................. oh boo hoo hoo. Sad, sad, SAD little girl. Poor baby with the ingrained persecution reactions.

Do you know what i really learned? Don't play games with people who pretend that cruelty is just a brand of humor that no one else seems to get. Don't interact with people who are only after your demise. If you mess around with fire, you'll get burnt. i know the answer and now, when i don't, i'll guess and i'll even have you thinking my answers are NEVER guesses. Wanna know HOW to play and really have fun? Get to know my Master and His insanely entertaining family. It is a whole new phenomenon to me -- this concept of not needing disclaimers anymore.